i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
