he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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