He kissed a someone with a penis
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
