Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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