I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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