Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Damn victory sex feels great
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
