That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
