She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize