Have you finally orgasmed yet?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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