It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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