PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
