She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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