nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
