I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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