guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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