mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
