respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
