so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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