Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think my fart just growled at me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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