11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You can't motorboat a personality
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
