I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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