i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Welp...herpes.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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