Cold hands, warm shart.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
