So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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