you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
