I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
