Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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