I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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