They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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