so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
