We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
