There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
