I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The struggles of a small town man whore
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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