Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
