Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize