question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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