I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
