just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
