Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
