Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
