we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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