Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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