Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
