you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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