so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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