What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
