Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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