k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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