i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize