okay pat passed out under dana's car
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
