Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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