I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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