Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
