Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
