so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
