dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
