The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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