as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You need a sexual gate keeper
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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