I could have mohawked her pubes.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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