Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize